I know, it’s roughly 1.8214 months late, but come on, we didn’t even have this site ’til last week. I figure the world should have a picture of what I look for in beer.

Anyone who knows me worth a damn, has a good solid idea of what I’m looking for in beer so these are my top 10, and why.

10. Three Floyds Behemoth Barleywine: The aroma was slightly deceiving, but this was a delightful barleywine. While Behemoth may not be the best adjective, it was quite a great ale. Not as bitter as i would have liked. But overall very well balanced. I was expecting more hops, with the barleywine tag, but if it were to just say delicious ale full of goodness, I would have to agree. An excellent offering.

9. Founders Backwoods Bastard: This is the bourbon barrel aged version of their famous Scotch ale, Dirty Bastard. I had a few tastes of this at the Michigan Brewers Guild Winter Beer Fest last year, and was pretty impressed. It definitely improved the quality of a scotch ale I was only mildly fond of.

8. Breckenridge Brewery 471 Small Batch IPA: This was the beer responsible for getting me off to a great start in Imperial IPA’s. While not extraordinarily hoppy, or malty, it is very well balanced and an excellent way to transition into the genre of Imperial IPA.

7. Founders Breakfast Stout: Every year there is an enormous waiting list for this beer. It is one of the truly great things to be made in the state of Michigan, and one of my two two favorite things to come out of Grand Rapids. The other being the band Brothers. This beer drives people stark raving mad. It makes sense though, because it is a glorious wonderful thing. Double chocolate coffee oatmeal stout. What an incredible thing to behold… I have not been impressed, however, by the Kentucky breakfast stout, which is the bourbon barreled version of this same stout. While much more limited, it just didn’t do it for me.

6. Arcadia Hopmouth IIPA: I’ll tell you, when they first released this fine ale, I almost cried. I have some sentiment about Arcadia to begin with, as it was their regular IPA that is responsible for my love of good beer. Without my first taste of that at Ashley’s a few years back, my beer enjoyment criteria may still have been limited to getting hwasted. Yes, hwasted. Anyway, the the deucers of this are usually quite reasonable, and it is everything a solid IIPA should be. It is malty, very hoppy, and actually well balanced. The slight thickness of the beer lends it an incredibly smooth quality. Well, smooth if you’re really into hops. Not to mention, the guys over at Arcadia are all super good dudes. They deserve all the fame and renown they can gather.

5. Dogfish Head World Wide Stout (2006): 18% by volume. Is it really necessary I say more?! Ok, maybe it is. This beast is complex. Massively complex. Black, dense, pour. no head. Sweet aroma, almost sickly… Scents of licorice, vanilla, and scotch. A little cognac as well. Full bodied and delicious. Very sweet. Lacking in bitterness, but that is made up for in complexity of malt flavor. If this beer were not 10 bucks a bottle, I would consume it regularly. Hell, it may even move up the list, but for what it is, it is always worth it to buy a bottle every year and get a taste. I will say, however, I had the 2005, in december of ‘06, about a month before I had this one, and I did prefer it. This beer is always astonishing, although it damn well better be for 10 bucks a bottle.

4. Great Lakes Brewing Co. Blackout Stout: Named after the infamous blackout that occured in 2003, it is everything I think a stout should be: big, black, and bitter. Which, perhaps coincidentally, is how I take my coffee, and if I’m not mistaken, how Ian prefers his men. Now that I mention it, it is also how I like villains in the Punisher Max series, namely Barracuda. Yes, I like my stouts to have gold fronts engraved with a rather unkind sentiment.

3. Three Floyds Dreadnaught Imperial IPA: Absolutely brilliant. What a wonderful IIPA. A hint of sweetness and a whopping load of hops. Full of booze and wonderfulness. I only had this once, but it made a lasting impression. I really wish the Three Floyds brews were available in Michigan, but alas, I shall be relegated to picking them up when I’m in Chicago visiting family.

2. Bell’s Batch 7000: Some may think of this as a cop out, since it was a limited edition beer, but by the power of Grayskull, this beer was phenomenal. Imperial stout was given a new meaning when this beer was released. It was somewhere on the order of 14-15% by volume I believe, and it was thick as motor oil. Really quite ridiculously thick. This incredible stout was a meal in and of itself. People certainly like to say that about Guinness, but most of those people have never seen a real stout, much less an imperial stout. This thing must have clocked in over 600 calories a pint. It was black, black, and more black. Sweet, somewhat bitter, with lots of coffee and almost tar-like flavors, it was everything you expect an imperial stout to be, squared.

1. I feel like there should be some sort of drum roll for this. My number one beer, is to my close friends absolutely no surprise as I praise it with every opportunity I’m given. It is: Schmaltz Brewing Company’s He’brew Bittersweet Lenny’s R.I.P.A. From my first taste of this beer, I was absolutely blown away. It pours very unassumingly, a pleasant copper-brown with a thick head. The smell is that of hops, lots and lots of hops. The dryness of the rye malt comes through very well in the malt profile, and really adds nicely to the alcohol flavors. As a whole, it is a little sweet, a little dry, and really bitter. At 10% by volume it is right up my alley. I cannot say enough good things about this beer. It really does knock me off my feet every time I have it. I’ve probably purchased in excess of two cases of this fine ale. Another bonus: He’brew puts all of their recipes on thinterwebs. If you’re ever looking for a gift for me, this is the best 6 dollar gift ever. I can sing this beer’s praises for hours and hours. It is the most wonderful thing I’ve ever tasted.

This took me such a ridiculously long time to type out, so I hope ya’ll are happy and planning on buying me one of these fine ales after lent is over.

-brian